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What Happens When I'm At WORK and I have to Poop?

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What Happens When I'm At WORK and I have to Poop?

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable.

For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you the.........

Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work.

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.


Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 36

ASTAIRE

This is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert all potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 36

CAMO-COUGH

A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 34

COURTESY FLUSH

The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 36

ESCAPEE

A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 31

FLY BY

The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 33

HAVANA OMELET

A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 35

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)

When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

Listing Last Modified: Tue Aug 01 2006

 


Views: 34


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